Heaven On Earth

Living Enlightenment--a call for evolution beyond ego by Andrew Cohen.

I just finished reading this book late last night, well early this morning actually. It's a really quick read and very interesting too. I think Andrew has a lot of valuable teachings to offer along with a good dose of direct enlightenment experiences.

This book is an interview of questions and answers. Chapter 16 is called--the promise of perfection.

Do you think it is possible to be free within a romantic relationship?

Andrew answers, "Almost impossible" and talks about "the sexual/romantic experience as one of the most confusing areas of human life and seems to be the hardest to get clear about." The biggest issue here is the deep emotional and psychological attachment that sex and romance creates.

So isn't it possible to pursue freedom together? Can't we walk the path to
enlightenment in the context of a sexual/romantic relationship?

Andrews response is "One would hope so..." but again, the problem is the powerful attachment that sex and romance creates. It comes down to the matter of priorities because if we are seeking freedom/liberation/enlightenment it is "almost inevitable that attachment will quickly become more important to us than our potential liberation.

But I don't understand why there has to be conflict between freedom and being together.

It depends on what we mean when we speak of freedom. Andrew explains that being enlightened means being free of attachment. "...when you hold on to absolutely nothing, you are free--automatically. And the truth that liberates is the profound recognition of just that fact--that your own natural state is already free. The only ting that keeps us in bondage is the unquestioned belief that there is something fundamental that is missing from our own self. So out of ignorance of our own natural state, we bind ourselves to people and things, convinced that through creating attachment we will find happiness and contentment."

Well, so many of us have discovered that this just isn't the case. People put so much into the myth of finding true love and romance and the perfect sexual partner--always looking for their one and only--that perfect someone who resides outside of yourself. If the dream comes true the attachment can be huge. But what happens once we find the perfect partner? We still have to deal with oneself. We find the one and he wasn't the one after all. We aren't free because we we attach to things outside of ourselves.

Andrew says that where there is fear there is attachment and where there is attachment there is always fear of loss. We can never be truly happy in this state. I get this on a very deep and profound level. "It is the revelation of enlightenment itself that shows all of this directly to us--the perennial truth that real happiness and the only lasting contentment lie within us as our own True Self..."

I do feel strongly drawn toward the profound freedom you're describing but I also feel like it's a natural thing to want to be in a relationship. From the way you're speaking, it almost sounds like you're advocating celibacy.

It's interesting how people interpret things because this isn't what I was hearing. Andrew says, "Is that what I said? So many people tend to misinterpret what I am saying whenever I speak about this particular topic...it's very difficult to see clearly into this area of the human experience, especially when it relates to ourselves. All I'm trying to do is present the facts. You asked about sex, romance and enlightenment, and all I'm saying is that the definition of spiritual freedom is freedom from attachment. Sex creates attachment--that's all there is to it. And that is why there is almost always an inherent conflict between the longing for inner freedom and the karmic consequences of the sexual/romantic experience. Therefore, the big question is: If enlightened freedom is freedom from attachment, then what are we all going to do about the relentless nature of sexual attraction?"

I was hoping you were going to give me an answer to that one!

"...On one extreme, we have been encouraged to use the sexual experience itself as a vehicle for self-transcendence and, on the other, we have been told that if we want to be liberated...we have to renounce the sexual experience altogether. I believe that if we want to be free, we must think very deeply about these matters for ourselves..." He goes on to say that even enlightened masters have come to contradictory conclusions and so we must turn to our own honest inquiry on this matter. When probed further he still refuses to answer for us. He says if we want to be free then all we need to know is that free means free from attachment.

Andrew also says that the promise of perfect happiness and blissful fulfillment inherent in sexual desire is overwhelmingly deceptive and that we must come to recognize "the difference between the personal bliss of the romantic interlude and the impersonal ecstasy of spiritual freedom." He also says, " But realistically, in a world like ours that is incessantly propagating this powerful promise, if we want to be free, we all, to some degree at least, have to be willing to be renunciates!" But before you get yourself in a tither, he goes on to explain what it is that we have to be willing to renounce. "...renunciation means resisting the temptation to be seduced by the most powerful illusion that there is. It is was he calls "the promise of perfection" which is the belief that the perfect romance will make us happy and content and that we will finally feel whole and complete. "And also, it is only when we let go of the promise of perfection that it will become clear to us how, more often than not, the experience of romantic intoxication if fueled by the ego's need for personal affirmation."

Okay, okay...where's the nearest monastery?! But seriously, Andrew, if what you're saying is true, would there be any reason left to be in a relationship? Even though it's obviously not what you mean, it still keeps sounding like you're saying that if we want to be free, we have to give up the whole thing.

"Well yes, and no. Yes, if it means creating more suffocating attachment that only serves to perpetuate the illusory personal world of the separate ego. But no, if the context for personal intimacy and sexual communion is authentic spiritual freedom."

What does that mean?

"It means that we want to be free more than anything else and therefore are more interested in impersonal ecstasy than personal bliss. It means that the context for personal intimacy and sexual communion would be the impersonal--a dimension that is unknown in this wold, that is beyond ego and fee from attachment."

And where is this impersonal dimension found?

"Inside your own self...That is where you will discover an absolute love, a bliss that is empty of attachment and free from the conviction that anything fundamental is missing. And it is that context alone, which is one of inherent fullness or completion, that can make it possible for human beings to come together in personal intimacy and sexual communion in a way that is free from the pain, complexity, and unending confusion that are usually such an inherent part of this area of life."

I find this writing very profound and wonderful as it so perfectly coincides with polyamory as a powerful path on a spiritual journey. Polyamory can help teach one to love without attachment, to look within oneself for this absolute love and from this core of freedom when reaching out to others to share personal intimacy and sexual communion. I find it of significant importance that those attracted to the path of enlightenment who are in primary relationship (and committed secondary relationships as well) share the spiritual journey of enlightenment together. Rather than a interest in engaging in a lot of ego feeding in relationship it comes down to focusing on your intention and that of your partner to directly experience enlightenment. That, with personal intimacy and sexual communion thrown in, is my idea of heaven on earth.

An Awakened Life

A gift I received today:

The Awakened Life--Uncommon Wisdom from Everyday Experience by Christopher Titmuss who entered a Buddhist monastery and became a monk for six years.

May all beings live in peace
May all beings live in harmony
May all beings be fully enlightened

One way to conceptualize awakening is to understand that it occurs at two levels, the relative and the ultimate. Relative awakening is when our insights turn our consciousness in a particular direction. One of the problems of relative awakening is that the insights get suffocated by the thoughts of our daily life. As we develop an appreciation of awakening, an energy of commitment is created that gives us passion to follow through with the the core message of our insights.

Ultimate awakening (no problem with follow through) is what happened to the Buddha under than Bodhi tree when he realized the core issues of human existence. This is were The Four Noble Truths come from.

1. There is suffering in the world
2. Suffering arises due to conditions. Desire is a primary condition.
3. There is liberation from the rounds of suffering.
4. There is a way to end suffering through a noble way of life, namely the Eightfold Path.

"In an awakened life our heart is open, steady and purposeful." We can experience an awakened state but then it is difficult to stay awaken while carrying on with our daily lives. Some of the ways to help ourselves stay awake are: contact with conscious people; mindful living; meditation; inquiry; taking risks; and contemplative reading.

May all beings live with wisdom
May all beings be awakened
May all beings live an enlightened life

Know The Truth Now

When people contemplate enlightenment they often think of The Buddha. Jesus, Rumi, or Muhammad among many others may also come to mind. What specific aspect of character did these personalities possess that makes their greatness so obvious? I imagine that each of them experienced a fundamental shift in consciousness that allowed them to directly experience the truth. In other words, they were enlightened beings.

Regardless of your cultural and spiritual influences there is only one kind of enlightenment. There is not one enlightenment for the students of Zen, another that one aspires for through practicing yoga, one that is attainable by chanting Hindu japa and yet another that is arrived at through meditation and prayer. Enlightenment is enlightenment. The truth is the truth.

Some consider enlightenment as a rare reward, only attainable by a few individuals who are willing to give away all of their earthly possessions, separate themselves from family and friends and spend their lives meditating in a cave or monastery. But enlightenment is available to anyone who chooses to pursue it and such sacrifices are not necessary or appropriate for everyone. The paths to enlightenment are varied, each suitable in different ways depending on a person’s walk in life.

“O God, My God What Shall I Do? And if everyway is closed before you, the secret one will show a secret path no other eyes have seen.”--Rumi

One path to enlightenment is the Enlightenment Intensive, which was developed in 1968 by Charles Berner (1929-2007), also known as Yogeshwar Muni. Yogeshwar studied humanistic psychology extensively for years, working to help people to improve their relationships through communication. As his interest in accelerating the process of self-discovery grew, he developed the idea of combining western style dyad communication work along with a Rinzai Zen style of contemplation using various Zen koans such as Who Am I? or What Am I? The results were that his students started describing personal experiences that were identical to the enlightenment experiences described by people who have sat in silent meditation for years and years.

The 3-day Enlightenment Intensive is a residential workshop that combines the age-old practice of reflective contemplation with verbal communication. During the retreat, all of your basic needs are provided for in an environment that is free from the distractions of your daily life. There is no belief system for you to follow and no one attempts to tell you what the truth is. The combined contemplation and dyad communication technique allows you to move past mental constructs, memories, ideas, insights, traumas, and false identifications in an accelerated fashion. This process empties the mind, making it possible for you to breakthrough into enlightenment and directly experience the truth.

A direct experience is different than the usual indirect methods we normally use to understand something via our senses, thinking, reasoning, feelings, believing etc. A direct experience is self-evident and beyond doubt. The truth is that which actually exists apart from and not dependent on what we sense, think, reason, feel or believe.

The enlightenment that many participants experience on an Enlightenment Intensive is the same enlightenment that Buddha experienced. No doubt, Buddha’s enlightenment was extraordinarily deep, but the direct experiences of truth are the same. So although the extent of Buddha’s enlightenment may have been greater, there is only one type of enlightenment, which is conscious, direct knowing of oneself.

People with direct experience of the truth have a deeper understanding of self and others. Their relationships, along with the overall quality of their lives improve. They tend to communicate more skillfully and to create more personal happiness in their lives.
Although we can’t force enlightenment to happen, an Enlightenment Intensive is a powerful and easily accessible opportunity where the perfect environment is created for a direct experience of the truth to arrive, through grace, for those intending to know it.

“Separate from yourself that which separates you from others.”—Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

Enlightenment Intensives are not part of any structured organization or belief system. They are a tried and true technique, made available by trained individuals throughout the world. There are some books that have been written that describe the process in detail and also many websites dedicated to this practice. One of my favorites is Edrid's site, which also provides a list of Enlightenment Intensives scheduled throughout the United States. You can also simply google Enlightenment Intensive and/or Dyad Communication to pull up lots of information.